It's been a long time since my last post... So I'm going to bet that no one will even check up to look at this post, which is great! That means I have free reign on what I can say!! YEAH!! So here goes...
Do you ever just have those days when everything makes you upset and frustrated? Or rather the things that normal bug you aren't bugging you, and the things that normally don't bug you are just making you crazy!! Well I have been having one of those days for the past two weeks, or at least it feels like it's been two weeks. My family, who sometimes gets overwhelming, loud, cranky, and sometimes I just need some quiet time to get away from them. The past few weeks I have just wanted to spend my time with them. I wanted to be at home, playing games with my nephews, relaxing on the couch and watching tv with my sisters and parents. Then there are other places that I usually run to when I'm ready for that quiet time that normally doesn't come at my house. Lately those places have felt restless... I haven't been able to stay there for longer than an hour before I'm ready to explode and get out! I don't know what has changed? Growing appreciation for my family? Over exposure to these other sources of comfort? Who knows, but I wish I could figure it out.
I've been finding myself easily offended lately, and extremely over protective of my family. It's ok for me be upset and vent about a fight, but when you start thinking my family is crazy and weird I might just punch you in the face. Now no worries no has called my family crazy or weird... yet, but still just the thought that someone might be thinking it, or saying it behind my back... get ready for a beat down!
Then there's always other people's double standards that make me crazy!! Oh man this is such a negative post, sorry if anyone is reading it, there are just things I need to get off my chest!!
Well if you read hopefully you weren't offended by something I said, and hopefully it was enjoyable. Maybe I'll start writting more!

Spring Awakening!!!

So once again it's been forever since I have posted but I apologize, life got slightly crazy for awhile. But now all I really have to say is this..........................................................................................
I AM GOING TO SEE SPRING AWAKENING!!!!!
I am seriously ecstatic! I leave tomorrow night to go down to Arizona, where I will spend most of the rest of the week just chilling with her and my cousins. Then on Friday I get to go and visit with my dear friend Abby, and meet my bestie's twinner whilst we watch the wonderful and fabulous Spring Awakening!! Then back to my sister's house until I return next Monday! So to all my friends I say see ya in a week... and when I return I will be closer to a whole person... haha JK! Love you all! PEACE!

Snow Day

So as I sit here in my friend Kyle's condo watching pushing daisies I realized two things....
A.) I am seriously obsessed with this show... and...
B.) Sometimes you just need to take a day off

So I have spent this entire week running around like a mad women... From work, to teaching, to rehearsals, to doing special secret things.... And the sad part is that I haven't even had time just sit and chill with friends... there's nothing about this week that was relaxing.
So here I sit, sickly on my friend's couch, watching pushing daisies and falling more and more in love with the lonely pie maker, who isn't so lonely anymore (or Ned for those of you not too familiar with the show) Seriously he is adorably sweet and caring... I might add that I am insanely jealous of his girl Chuck, everything from her style, her demeanor, and especially the fact that Ned is absolutely and totally in love with her.
I'm not quite sure where I was going with this Blog but basically if you haven't seen the show yet you better get on it quick! IT'S AMAZING!!!!

Advice... please?

So here's the thing... I have this friend, one of my best, who I have had a major crush on for over a year, but until recently he was in a relationship... but he is now single and we have been hanging out a lot, and a lot of times it's just the two of us... now here is where the advice comes in, what do I do now? I feel like he is showing interest, but he is a very friendly guy so maybe that's just it... and the other night we had this conversation about a girl, let's call her N, who he feels like thinks he likes her, and he doesn't (just fyi N is NOT me) so the other night they were supposed to go hang out, he thought with a bunch of people, but she didn't invite anyone so as he and I drive to the meeting place he continues to explain to me how awkward it would be to spend time alone with her since he does not have feelings for her...
So what do I do? I treasure his friendship ALOT and I don't want things to get awkward... So I don't want to be too pushy with myself, but I want him to know that I am interested...
Some have told me to just tell him how I feel, "I'm sure he won't get awkward" they say... but I'd rather not chance that... Plus I don't want to chase him, I want him to chase me... so anyone with any advice, GIVE IT TO ME NOW!! haha I am in desperate need...
PS THANKS and I love you all!

If it kills me...

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now
And baby that’s a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend(girlfriend)
Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn’t healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all
Baby there’s a lot that I miss
In case I’m wrong
Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If I should be so bold I’d ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I’ve longed to be your man(women) haha
But I never said I would
I guess I’m gonna miss my chance again
All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me
And all I really want from you is to feel me
It’s a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me

I love the new Jason CD and if you haven't heard it yet you better get on that quick, it's amazing!!!!

Vulnerable

Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in
because its cold outside cold outside its cold outside
share with me the secrets that you kept in
because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside
and your slowly shaking finger tips show
that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care
tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
isn't that a song already
I get a B in originality
and it's true I cant go on without you
your smile makes me see clearer
if you could only see in the mirror what I see
and your slowly shaking finger tips show
that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care
tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible
slow down girl your not going anywhere
just wait around and see
maybe I am much more
you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything
just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone anything
I promise I can be what you need
tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
impossible

Between the lines... again!

I have been put into so many situations where someone has not loved me as much as I loved them, they always end up leaving me behind, it's never my choice, but I have recently been faced with a difficult decision, and it's one I have to choose, to stay or to go... This guy is so great and there for me, but part of him is not ready to let go of what he no longer has, or can't have... Now here's my delemna... Stay and wait for him, with the chance of never succeeding, or leave, with the chance of missing out on something amazing... and for the first time it's up to me! I can be the one to say it's not worth it, the one to run away and leave him behind, but the question is... Do I want that... here are some lyrics that I found that describe my situtaion... kinda? haha

Between the lines~
Time to tell me the truth
To burden your mouth for what you say
No pieces of paper in the way
Cause I can't continue pretending to choose
The opposite sides on which we fall
The loving you laters, if at all
No rigth minds could wrong me this many times
My memory is cruel
I'm queen of attention to detail
Defending intentions if he fails
Until now, he told me her name
It sounded familiar in a way
I could have sworn I'd heard him say it ten thousand times
If only I had been listening
Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me
Always between the lines
Between the lines
I thought I was ready to bleed
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall
And stand in the center of it all
Too late two choices to stay or to leave
Mine was so easy to uncover
He'd already left with the other
So I've learned to listen through the silence
Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me always be
I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
I'll talk until the conversation doesn't stay on
Wait for me I'm almost ready
When he meant let go
Leave unsaid unspoken
Eyes wide shut, unopened
You and me
Always be
Between the lines